your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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