umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Randomize
