I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
