Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
