I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize