Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
