I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
