Tell her she can't have a vagina
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
