Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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