You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
