she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
