I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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