Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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