So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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