I wannas sexs uuuuu
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
