where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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