That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
