Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize