She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
