I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize