When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
