Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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