Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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