Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
