Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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