do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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