a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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