I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
