that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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