I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
