yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
wow bdsm is so cute
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