saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
