p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
