Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
