We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
