Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
