i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
