oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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