Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
