I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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