I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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