Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
