i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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