Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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