you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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