We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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