we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
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