I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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