Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
