After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
