you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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