What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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