I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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