i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
