He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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