Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
