peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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