In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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