Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize