shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
