Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
