can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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