it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
