there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
