Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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