problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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