Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
