Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My pussy is not your playground.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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