Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You can't just leave with hair like that
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize