God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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