she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize