Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
