Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
