Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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