The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
